"So I want to do this!"

In January 2009, I was 15 years  old and had one of my first experiences with missions. And I'd say, for the first, that was much greater than I'd imagined.
In a city named Barcarena in the North of Brazil, during a King's Kids campaign, using the strategy of dance, I was envangelizing for the first time in that city when a drunk man came up and started dancing with us. 

Dancing at the market

The personal evangelism was usually done with couples, so when we finished the presentation, I had to look for my partner and I found him exactly speaking to that man. So I joined them and we started a conversation.
 
He told us a lot about his past. Basically how he ended up in that situation. Briefly, the story is like this: His name is Antonio. He used to feel a pain in his body that none doctor could heal and it seemed that the only thing that could make the pain stop was alcohol. Then He became an alcohol addicted and because He was always drunk He couldn't remember his way back home. He didn't see his family for a long time.
We talked about how Jesus could heal his pain and make him to go back home, but we had to return to the church where we were hosted, so we prayed for him and said goodbye.
 
A few days later we were dancing at a street market and I and my partner met Luciano, a server of the army who was on vacation. 
We just talked. I do not remember talking about God to him, but we invited him to play volleyball with us during the time we would be in the city.
Almost ready to go back to the church who did we find??? Antonio! He was a little more sober, but still drunk.  He asked us the address of our host church and said he would visit us.

Days passed and Sunday came. A church day for everybody else, but a day off for us. We weren't at the church that day, but at the end of the service the pastor came to us and made a question: "Who of you invited a man named Antonio?". David and I did stand up overjoyed and said: "We!". The pastor said: "Rejoice! Because he asked Jesus into his life today!". 
We got so stocked by the news and sad for we weren't there to see that happen.

And Luciano? 

This is such a precious picture of the day we met Luciano

Well... We were still playing volleyball with him very often, but never saying a word about God.

Now let's go back to Antonio!

On our last day in Barcarena, we returned to that street market, and right when we were leaving we found someone who looked a lot like Antonio. No beard, well dressed and working, but YES !!! That man was Antonio! Sober and looking very happy. 

We talked to him one more time and would say goodbye when He said: "Wait! I want to introduce you to some people" 

We were already happy and surprised enough to see that great change in his life in just a few days and know that his pain was gone, but He still came up with a story far beyond our expectations. 

"Look. This is my wife, these are my children and those are my grandchildren that I didn't even know about. I just met them a few days ago."
 
That was the most exciting experience I saw until that day. We got extremely happy for all that God did in his life, to see him give it all to God and honored to see that we could be part of something so important for him and for God.
 
And what about Luciano???
 
At night, when we were saying goodbye to our host church we had one more surprise. 
He visited the church and asked Jesus into his life! WHAT??? 
I wondered a million times how that could happen since we never said anything about God to him, but now I understand that God has many ways of reaching out for us. This time God got him by simply showing Himself through our lives.

My DTS team at YWAM Base in Barcarena

 
I saw God showing Himself, changing and restoring lives through us and thought to myself: "Is this what missionaries do? So I want to do this!"
And guess what!  Five years later I got myself in Barcarena one more time. This time for 3 months to attend to Discipleship Trainning School of Youth With A Mission, but now as a full time missionary!
Who would have thought?

To see things that make you feel alive, useful, accomplished, are part of the job of obeying the call of God.
God wants to use you! Listen to His dreams for you, live it up and enjoy the wonderful experiences that it will bring to you!

So I took that boat...

 So, almost 6 months ago, I took that boat and my life took one step ahead in what I and He dreamed. A two hours trip between Belém and Barcarena decided one more stage of my path. The preparation.
On March 10th, the so craved Dicipleship Trainning School - DTS started. That was exciting! I couldn't help crying. The song I used to sing so many times, wishing I could do what the lyrics say, was playing and I was finally doing what it says: "We leave it all behind for you for the seek of your call."


Well... To seek God's call didn't start easily, but it didn't weigh more than I could carry.

Besides the intense routine of classes, academic works, readings; basic cares for the house where we lived; trips to the river communities every weekend , visits and works at the local community, the first 3 months were marked by the deafening silence of God. And I, who hoped to hear His voice so clearly during that time, was feeling desperate, but the sure that He was there and His answers relieved me.
At least I knew that He was listening to me, 'cause He aswered all of my prayers.

It also was a time marked by His loyalty and faithfulness. Nothing essential was missing. And His Father image just got clearer for me, 'cause He supported me, gave me gifts once and while, and was always affirming: "Don't worry! Everything that is mine is your. Ask me!". And as a good father He corrected me whenever is was necessary. But I've gotta say! He's such a patient father and that constranged me to be more patient with myself and the others.
I learned something very important. To depend of God is totally safe, even when I can't see, feel or hear Him.

I also learned to be more humble before Him, to have more transparency, submiting myself, letting myself to be cared for Him.
I made it to that place with scars and hidden mistakes (so weel hidden that I got surprised). God touched them. It hurt! But it healed faster than it was with my own treatment.

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." - II Chronicles 7:14

Healing and transformation. That's what happened and is still going on. God shining down on me from the inside out, bringing light upon what I couldn't see inside, so this light may shine brighter for whoever, here outside, needs light.
Preparation. God preparing me to "go to all the world and preach the gospel".

This is just a summary of what happend on the first 3 months of my trip. I still have a lot to share about that time and 2 months more of stories to tell. I'll let it to the next post. Too much to be told at once. ;)

Story continues...

Crumbs

I was reading Matthew 15:22-28 which tells the story of a woman who has a sick daughter and asks Jesus to heal her,  but she does not belong to God's people .
Well, I know a loving, kind and generous God, but I confess that His answer at this moment left me open-mouthed:

- "It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs."

I immediately asked :

- God??? Why you were so rude ? ? - And kept reading.

The woman did not leave, insisted and got what she wanted by saying:

- "Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table..."

And Jesus said:

-"Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted"

Jesus knew that woman wouldn't give up for a rough answer, and he would love to see her faith in action .
It made me understand that attitude from Jesus, but soon another question came up:

- God , this woman was not from your people, she was not your servent and you blessed her anyway. And it was not for mercy . Her faith moved you.
If faith is enough to attract your blessings, why do you ask us so many waivers? Which is the difference between the faith of a child of God and the faith of a heathen???

And he told me : "The difference is in the answer she gave me. Read it again."

And I read : "Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table..."

- "My children obey me and live my will which is perfect, pleasing and good, but she was content with only one blessing. She was content with only crumbs of everything I've ever dreamed for her.
You know... I wanted to do more than physically heal his daughter. I wanted to heal her soul, I wanted the whole family to be healed and heal others through them.
The difference is that my kids will eat 'the good of the land'. (Isa. 1:19 ) They hear me, sit around the table with me, but the wicked, while being far from the comfort of the Father, will settle for crumbs."


Do not settle for crumbs. God has a much better food to offer!


"If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land" (Isa. 1:19 )

I also feared.

I was communicating to my family about my calling and my aunts , interested , asked me about how I talk to God and how I could know that He was talking to me, and how I know that this is what He wants me to do.
I started telling the confirmations that He gave me on the subject.

I told them that once, when He left me know that I would travel the world on missions, I confessed to God that I was afraid, because I didn't like much the idea of ​​going to the bakery alone, so travel the world all alone wouldn't be easier than this for sure.
And even without having told anyone about it , God used one of my friends to tell me that I would not be alone at all, for He would be with me and give me friends from many places and a year later it started happening . I had friends up even in Ukraine.
I was surprised by their confident sight on me and the support they gave me , because they are not evangelical and it would be understandable if they didn't agree with this right away. But what surprised me the most was exactly my evangelical aunt who interrupted the moment by saying, "There's only one small problem ... Missionaries don't fear, so I think you need to think better".

The distrust in the tone of her voice hurt me a lot and despite knowing many missionaries with their fears and doubts, knowing that this is normal , I was still really hurt by that. It was not the first time I heard something like that.

I went back home and it was night already, so I decided not to think about it anymore and sleep, but when I woke up it was still bothering me and I told God what I was feeling and then He comforted me the way only He can do:

"Do not worry . I understand you . I was scared too!
You remember Gethsemane? I swatted blood of so much anguish and you should remember my words: 'If it's possible, let this cup pass me by' , but do you know what's the difference between my fear and cowardice? I said 'but do it according to your will' and that's the difference I find in you.

Do not bother by what others may think. What I think is that you are just like me . You fear , but your heart is totally willing to leave your fears behind and fulfill my will . And if there is no mistakes in my fear, there is no mistakes in yours too. And if you act like me, it's because you have been with me and if I 'm with you who is against you?"

My  fallen countenance gave way to a much more cheerful expression by knowing how much God cares about what I feel and how much He appreciates every little effort we make to fulfill his will.

I forgave the words of my aunt and learned that there is nothing wrong with fear since it won't take the place of disposal to do what God tells us to do and that God is our benchmark and the first to whom we should listen, for his thoughts about us are more important then anything others may think.

What I was doing in Minas Gerais ... - II

Among the songs I heard His voice:

 - Would you go wherever I send you to?
My answer could not be diferent.
- If you come with me I'll go anywhere!

That was how I was received that night in Pitangui / MG.
There was nothing in that moment that could induce me to think something like that, but God didn't want to wait. And I love it when he speaks at unexpected times.

Four years ago God told me that the day to put into practice all that I am learning would come. Until that day to come I've been "on the hill" praying that everything would fit and come at the right moment.

Now God says: - I'm moving your life forward! It's time to get down from the hill and work!

It seems all so clear. Isn't it? But sometimes it takes some time for me to see. haha

On the second day, God shown me where I belong. It's not my home, my city, or my country or even any of these continents. My home is the Lord and wherever I am, if I am with Him, I will be home.

He told me that he is the alpha, but he's also omega. That means he's in the beginning of things and also in the end of them. If I started something in my life it was by his will and I 'll also be heading to finish it by his way. Then He gave me one of the next steps of my journey:

- Go back to your hometown to finish the course you're doing and take care of people I gave in your hands to care, because for starting a new cycle you need to close the old one.
When everything is settled, take all your courage and come to work in missions in full time.

But... How to work? How to begin this new cycle?

On this point God was very clear:

- You need to "eat" my word! It needs to be part of you! Prepare yourself!

To start anything in life you need preparation. It's necessary to regard the knowledge of what we say and do so we can be "always prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks us to give the reason for the hope that we have" (I Peter 3:15)

Then God directed me to do DTS.

In case you don't know. DTS is the Discipleship Training School of Youth With A Mission - YWAM.
You can google it.

Whew! After all of that I went to visit my friend in Contagem / MG and then went back to Belo Horizonte and caught the bus back to Brasília.


That night, while going back to Brasília, I could already feel that something was going to change radically. I felt that I needed to be strong, because despite being on my way home I was sure that was not exactly over there that this path was leading me to.

I arrived in Brasilia, took that plane and now I'm finally home, but this is far from being the end of the journey.

What I was doing in Minas Gerais ...

Listening to God.

Well... As some people who know me already know a few years ago God spoke to me about what he had planned for me.
When I was 16 years old God began to tell me that one day I would leave home to serve the kingdom and it would happen soon.

Since the beginning of 2013 I've received confirmations in many ways that my time for missions has come. Then some questions were in the air. What to do? Where to go? Which are the next steps?

I got three options: Italy project, ENA in Minas Gerais or just keep at home taking care of my academic life. Why not?

I prayed one night asking God about what He wanted from me and the next night someone told me that was feeling that God wanted me to go to ENA, because he had something to tell me there.
I had not told anyone about it, then immediately believed that could be the answer for my prayer. There God would give me the first command.

I prayed again asking God to confirm that by opening the way for me. And that's what happened. Everything just worked.
I sold cosmetics, made ​​raffles, received offers. Things just started to flow and when something was missing that was when faith was enough for me. I was sure that God would provide everything I needed and it happened.

On a Saturday night I prayed saying that I needed 75 reals until Monday and I couldn't see a single condition to earn that money in so little time. Even more in a weekend.
I finished praying by saying: "... but God, I trust in you! I know you will provide that and Monday I'll have the money!"

Before going to sleep I made a joke with God. I said, "Hey! You could send my father tomorrow morning to bring me 100 real huh?!"
That was just a joke, because there was a long time my father was not going to visit me. Especially on a Sunday morning . Obviously I couldn't count on it.

The next day (Sunday) I woke up with someone honking in front of my house. I thought, "Could be dad... But of course is not him!", so I tried to sleep again. A few seconds later my brother woke me up by saying: "Thais, your father is here and wants to talk to you!"
More than quickly I got up, changed my clothes and went to talk to him. He was in a hurry, so didn't stay for long. Only spoke to me quickly and handed me a money.
120 real !!!
We said good-bye. I came in, laughed and said: "God, you don't know to joke... " Hahaha.

Similarly happened with the clothes I needed. Were clothes for cold weather, and since I live in Belém, obviously not had this type of clothing. But my blessed aunt came from the U.S. and brought me a suitcase with everything I needed. I gained so many clothes that I loaned for those who would travel with me.

In that same period I gained a necklace with a pendant written: "Believe" . Very significant for me because everything happened like this. The whole story is summed up in BELIEVE. Trust that God is my faithful provider.

It's weird to think that he wanted only to talk to me in a place so far. Why not in my town? I do not know. All I know is: He spoke.

On my first day in Pitangui/MG where the ENA happened, he asked me a question that opened that period full of news from God to me with a golden key.
Over the course of the days he was saying everything slowly, trying to make me understand every detail of what I needed to know.

Well... That's a topic for next post :D

Keep connected, because this is only the beginning of this story. ;)