I also feared.

I was communicating to my family about my calling and my aunts , interested , asked me about how I talk to God and how I could know that He was talking to me, and how I know that this is what He wants me to do.
I started telling the confirmations that He gave me on the subject.

I told them that once, when He left me know that I would travel the world on missions, I confessed to God that I was afraid, because I didn't like much the idea of ​​going to the bakery alone, so travel the world all alone wouldn't be easier than this for sure.
And even without having told anyone about it , God used one of my friends to tell me that I would not be alone at all, for He would be with me and give me friends from many places and a year later it started happening . I had friends up even in Ukraine.
I was surprised by their confident sight on me and the support they gave me , because they are not evangelical and it would be understandable if they didn't agree with this right away. But what surprised me the most was exactly my evangelical aunt who interrupted the moment by saying, "There's only one small problem ... Missionaries don't fear, so I think you need to think better".

The distrust in the tone of her voice hurt me a lot and despite knowing many missionaries with their fears and doubts, knowing that this is normal , I was still really hurt by that. It was not the first time I heard something like that.

I went back home and it was night already, so I decided not to think about it anymore and sleep, but when I woke up it was still bothering me and I told God what I was feeling and then He comforted me the way only He can do:

"Do not worry . I understand you . I was scared too!
You remember Gethsemane? I swatted blood of so much anguish and you should remember my words: 'If it's possible, let this cup pass me by' , but do you know what's the difference between my fear and cowardice? I said 'but do it according to your will' and that's the difference I find in you.

Do not bother by what others may think. What I think is that you are just like me . You fear , but your heart is totally willing to leave your fears behind and fulfill my will . And if there is no mistakes in my fear, there is no mistakes in yours too. And if you act like me, it's because you have been with me and if I 'm with you who is against you?"

My  fallen countenance gave way to a much more cheerful expression by knowing how much God cares about what I feel and how much He appreciates every little effort we make to fulfill his will.

I forgave the words of my aunt and learned that there is nothing wrong with fear since it won't take the place of disposal to do what God tells us to do and that God is our benchmark and the first to whom we should listen, for his thoughts about us are more important then anything others may think.